A few Mondays ago at my place of mid-week wor(k)ship I received a fortune cookie to help commemorate Chinese New Year. Said cookie’s fortune told me: ‘six days from today will be your lucky day’. While I admired the cookie’s confidence, I couldn’t help thinking it had a lot to learn about the subject of ‘being vague and other risk management tips for fortune tellers’.
Still I waited for my lucky day, if only to show that know-it-all cookie who’s really in charge of my destiny (it’s hardly world war 4, but a victory is a victory nonetheless). Then I reached Sunday, the fortold ‘lucky day’. But was I feelin’ lucky? Well, was I punnkk? Let’s see. I was still alive at the end of it, which in overly gracious circles is probably considered lucky. I even managed to have myself a whole chunk of fun that day despite it being the fourth instalment of my new regime titled ’sober-Sundays’ … though the ‘fun’ might have less to do with luck and more do to with the fact that the title ‘sober Sundays’ doesn’t exactly give away the entire story line. So it was not an unusually lucky day, no.
But just imagine I got the cookie on the wrong day. I mean, what if I was supposed to hold onto my cookie until Tuesday and then eat it? Sure, we’d first need to pretend the concept of me just leaving food is an actual possibility, but then that would make Monday my lucky day. And this would not only give me significantly more mileage out of this story but it also means we avoid putting a whole nation’s spiritual tradition into awkward disrepute (though it was close, China – very, verry close!).
Some months ago, I wrote a few (hundred) words about the incredible Adele and her contribution to my favourite songs of 2011, Rolling in the Deep. In that same excessively-punctuated breath I also noted a few others who I mildly obsess over from year to year – and MIA and Fiona Apple were a couple of these few others.
Now, I’m just as patient as the next person (assuming said next person is also described by others as not very patient) but it can feel like a loooong obsessive wait between soundtracked drinks with these two. Admittedly, it’s a cause not helped by my history of condensing two years worth of normal album-listening-life into about four months of the OCD’n’ADD equivalent but how can I seriously even consider helping myself when there are so many other equally worthy causes out there? That would be just selfish.
So just imagine the delight of my gluttonous little ears when my hungry eyes read new-music news about BOTH of those sassy lassies. Yep, and both on that lucky day now known as fortune-ate Monday.
Ok, so technically it’s only been two years since MIA’s last album but on the basis that ‘it’ was rather shit (XXXO, an exception) I’m gonna do a Lisbeth Salander and relegate it to the category ‘all the evil’ and we can just go on like it never really happened … I’m still deciding on the dragon tattoo. So, my mind has only a record of MIA’s genius. Arular was her debut album and is one of my most favourite collection of songs that there has ever been. It was one of those albums that truly made a lasting and material impact on my relationship with music. It helped me learn that staying open minded about music can be challenging and while it does require some initial effort, the payoff is like getting the jackpot in lotto. Or the big prize at Thursday night Bingo, if that’s more your game. And now I’m cashing in again on her new single, Bad Girls.
Bad Girls picks up where the more mainstream-ish moments from her second album Kala (the one before all the evil) left off, sitting somewhere between the monotone funk of Paper Planes and the hyper-activity of Boyz. Bad Girls is produced by Timbaland’s one-time ‘protege’ Danja, who has a deft touch for smoothing otherwise hectic beats into dirty delicious pop music – think FutureSex/LoveSounds, Nelly Furtado’s Loose and Britney’s Gimme More. Before you thank him for all of that, have a listen to Bad Girls – you’ll probably want to add it to the list.
And if you think I am excited for new music from MIA, just imagine how much I am gagging for new music from Fiona Apple who herself has been MIA for SEVEN FREAKIN YEARS! But she does like to play hard to get our Fiona. Aside from Mr Kanye West, Fiona Apple is incomparable when it comes to brilliance each and every single time. And like Kanye West there is a new style and sound with each album yet all the while the persona stays true. Unlike Kanye West however, Fiona Apple is not prolific and has released only 3 albums in what is now 14 years. I shit you not. Is it any wonder I might be occasionally impatient.
Fiona Apple has a worldliness to her wordiness, turning observations of the human way into riddles, rhymes and insights that use this beautiful language of ours to its full potential …
“Full is not heavy as empty, not nearly my love, not nearly …” – the First Taste (Tidal)
“I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy, whose reality I knew was a hopeless to be had” – Paper Bag (When the Pawn …)
“… he lived to put things in their place, he did a commendable job – he put himself so low he could hardly even look me in the face” – Get Him Back (Extraordinary Machine)
There’s not only plenty more where those three came from, but a whole new package full of gems to be discovered sometime this year. And I can’t wait! After 7 years, you’d think – what’s another few months? Well, it’s like when you are busting for the toilet with nowhere to go. You think you are doing ok, but then the closer you get to your house the higher the risk seems to become of you peeing your pants. This isn’t totally dissimilar to that. And not just because there feels like a real risk I might just pee my pants.
So if I add up the wait for both of these pieces of great news, I can’t help but wonder what the chances of them happening on any particular day separately are, let alone on the same day.
And to think I doubted that cookie.
