onthebeatntrack

I’m SO sorry that I’ve been so inattentive to your literary needs over this fortnight (I know, implying this is literature is a STRREEETTTCCCH to say the least), but I’ve been bizzzzeeee (eh eh eh eh). Between watching the celluloid masterpiece that is Lady Gaga’s Telephone (have you really not seen it? BEST. MUSIC.VIDEO. EVERRR) and moving house, I’ve barely been able to give MYSELF the attention that I deserve, let alone the attention that you no doubt desperately need (deserve trumps need, sorry). Please, let me make it up to you ….

So, I moved into my Dad’s house over the weekend in a bid to save some coin for my impending travels. If you like, you can think of this move as the Prologue to the novel that will be ‘D-Rock’s total world domination – or at least partial exploration’ (author’s note: Just so we’re clear, there are no plans for an actual novel, it was just a poor attempt at a metaphor). You can consider this ‘the’ move before ‘THE’ move – you might call it d-day with a little d (or you might just call it a pretty standard intra city relocation and deem it relatively insignificant and wonder why, two paragraphs in, I haven’t made my point yet. Bless your impatience, but I think you’re in the wrong class).

My new digs is ‘across the bridge’ and I is now reprazentin 4 da west si-eede for the next two months until I leave. Naturally, moving to a new direction on the compass (I’ve gone from Soggy to Weet-bix, yes?) also means packing. EEEWWWWW!

Anyway, I’m sure you’re all well aware of the evils of moving and packing so in typically optimistic fashion we’re going to focus on what was probably the only redeeming experience of the packing process. Music. (I swear, my segues are freakin genius!)

Being as totally proactive and organised as I’m known NOT to be, I had a total of two boxes with which to pack my entire belongings – the rest was just kind of stuffed awkwardly into random bags. OBVIOUSLY my CDs had first dibs on the cardboard and for a number of reasons – they pack so neatly with all those perfect right angled edges, they are kind of heavy so those same neat edges might break through random baggage and, let’s face it, collectively they’re easily my most prized possession and they deserve this recognition so that they know their hierarchical position as lion of my jungle. As I further researched the herd of CDs, I rediscovered an endangered breed within the species. There was almost a whole box full of CDs that’s I’d almost forgotten and was yet to load onto my iTunes. So while I was stuffing stuff into bags willy nilly, I thought that I would preserve some of the presumably weaker links before my musical evolution sees them totally extinct. I decided to reintegrate them with the main pack but only after they passed the initiation of an iTunes ripping.

In reality, I knew that my dedication to Project ‘get old less significant CDs onto iTunes’ would wane in time as new distractions arose (“ooh, my year 10 English Assignment”), so I had to recruit carefully. Given I’ve spent more time with Pop this week than Snap and Crackle could even dream of, it fitted that I went for the guilty pleasures of yesteryear. Potentially shameful exhibits A through D, now showing for your judgemental pleasure – you can guiltily click on the link song titles for a good time too … you know you want to:

Exhibit A: Sunshine (CD single, no less) by Ricki-Lee

YES, I own this. I own about 60 CD singles in total, which can be attributed to financial ‘hardship’ and a love for music co-existing in my early adult years. Those were the days … a shaky walk up to the counter at Sanity reeking of ciggies and stale booze and sliding silver coins across the counter that I’d scabbed from my Sigma’s console all the while avoiding eye contact with the young customer service punk –while I’m a much more socially acceptable junkie nowadays, don’t be fooled by rocks that I got cos I’m still I’m still D-Rock from the Block. So Sunshine – this song reminds me of a less subtle version of Summertime by the Sundays, which is one of my actual favourite songs (yes ACTUAL actual – as in, it was actually one of the 10 songs I actually voted for in the Triple J Hottest 100 of all time – satisfied?!). It just sounds so totally Sun-ny and Shine-y plus Ricki-Lee herself is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me too. Yep, guilty!

Exhibit B: Greatest Hits by Whitney Houston

TOTALLY topical, hey?! You want me to say something nasty, don’t you? Well, I won’t – I’m going to focus on the positives, just as if I am one of her old drug test results (ooooh, he went there, didn’t he? Nasty piece of work that D-Rock thinkin he’s all that and Tyra Banks, hmm gerrrl!). Rather than the more ‘traditional’ Whitney tracks, I really like her late 90’s funky comeback material. Heartbreak Hotel is one my favourite rrrrnnbbb songs – funky, smooth and just tragic enough to be slightly epic. That whole era – It’s Not Right But It’s Okay and My Love Is Your Love et al – was a good one for the Dub-Hou. And who didn’t like the Bodyguard soundtrack?! In a nice little coincidence, one of Ricki-Lee’s finest Australian Idol moments was I Have Nothing. And here they both are again! They’re practically sisters …

Exhibit C: Innocent Eyes by Delta Goodrem

I knew this moment was coming … it’s make or break for you and I, I know it. Here it comes like a loving dose of vomit – I. LOVE. DELTA. I have all three of her CDs – and all proudly. Close the window if you must, or check your Facebook for 3 minutes while I get this out. I am not sure why I hadn’t realised this CD was missing before now (you’re not surprised, are you?) because it really feels so damn good to listen to. There’s Lost Without You, Predictable, (of course) Born to Try and my two favourites – Not Me, Not I and Throw It Away.

I actually like her follow up LP Mistaken Identity better because it’s a little bit darker and more diverse. If you’re willing to give it a chance, check out the Analyst which is a brilliant dark piano track (going once?) which was co-written by 80s pop star Cathy Dennis (going twice?), who also co-wrote Britney’sToxic (going three times?) and Kylie’s Can’t Get You Outta My Head (SOLD to the adventurous listener!) and A Little Too Late is a damn fine pop song too. AND, try not to be overcome with love (despite its dodgy subject matter) by Out of the Blue – full of infinite love and optimism. Ok, I’ve finished … you can come back now.

Exhibit D: Mahogany Soul – Angie Stone

This shouldn’t technically be a ‘guilty’ pleasure, but for some reason people think that anything resembling r’n’b should be listened to with absolute shame. Not me! While she’s no Jill Scott, Angie’s got her nice little groove thang going on (meanwhile, where did Zhane go after 1993?). I Wish I Didn’t Miss You, a massive highlight, is vulnerable and totally funky. Pissed Off is somehow edgy AND smooth all in one, while Brotha and More Than a Woman are the sort of songs that make you want to bob your head from side to side and wish you had a friend called Shaniquaa. It’s a CD that makes for quality, if understated, company.

I play my new music so aggressively (as in frequency, not physically – they fell down the stairs, honest) that it’s nice to revisit old friends that once were so used, abused and chewed up themselves before I just spat them out (not literally – although if CDs were made of chocolate GOD I would have some serious conflict). I also found some guiltier displeasures … but as I said, today is about focusing on the good times.

And some newer guilty pleasures … Rihanna’s Rude Boy is NUTS and I am all over it! It’s got a little bit of everything – the single line that you could listen to on repeat (“what I want want want is what you want want want, give it to me baby like Boom-Boom-Boom”) and it sounds so nasty and suggestive (“take it, take it”) and then immediately desperate (“love me, love me”). You think I’ve totally over analysed a Rihanna song don’t you? You ain’t seen nothing yet … you wait until I explain the many layered meaning of Umbrella! If you listen hard enough, I reckon you can almost hear the name of her first born … yeah, it’s really that deep (but seriously, it really does have a very sweet sentiment).

And Cheryl Cole! 3 Words kind of shouldn’t work, but does – and massively at that. I know Will.I.Am is a bit of a joke MOST of the time, but every now and again he comes up with the goods. He’s done solid album tracks for Mary J Blige (About You) and Justin Timberlake (Damn Girl) and has a new one on Rihanna’s new Rated R called Photographs, which is probably my favourite behind Rude Boy on that album. But Cheryl’s not just been playing corn to Will.I.Am’s (Black Eyed) Pea (s). She’s also got another track called Fight For This Love … which is totally gay in the best possible way. The beat sounds like it’s being put through an industrial fan and while the lyrics could dive safely into the shallow end of the pool, they are entirely genre appropriate. As I journey on foot, I’ve even mastered a few subtle downward running punches as she sings “fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love” … they’d be less subtle if passer-by’s couldn’t hear me actually sing “fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love” as I energetically gallop around.

Truth AND dare … So, that’s a fair bit of guilt but, more importantly, that’s an even greater amount of pleasure. Ok, now I’ve shared – now it’s your turn. Carn, it’s only fair that you give me yours. Don’t make me double dare you …

PS. Welcome back footy season! GO DEES!