onthebeatntrack

As I venture out of Melbourne on a semi permanent basis for the second time (yes, my two years in Brisbane counts) and being the unashamedly sentimental character that I am, OF COURSE I’m going to take some time to note some of the things that I’m going to miss about the city (and country) that I call home (and sometimes Melbs).

I don’t want you to be all confused and think I’m getting all melancholy about my trip – oh no no no, I’m totally looking forward and larrrving what I foresee but there are just too many things that I love about my current situation to not acknowledge them in official word form. However insignificant and replaceable some of these may seem to you these are the things that really make my week on a regular basis.

• Australian Story/ Four Corners/ Media Watch (aka, the ABC Monday Trifecta) – I wonder what will make me cry while I’m overseas? My money is on leeches. I so often rely on this little dose of televisual reality to expel the build of up of salty fluid in my optical region. I once did read an interesting article in the Good Weekend (another thing I’ll miss, see below) about crying. Did you know that it has never been proven why we do push out a few wet ones from our eyes in moments of ‘stress’. It also asked why it was ok for Halle Berry to cry a river (yet to be determined if this was at the request of Justin Timberlake) but Gwyneth Paltrow was named and shamed for a completely similar display of emotion … discuss. It also noted that women in the workplace who cry are generally considered weak and overly emotional and those that don’t are often criticised for being heartless bitches. All interesting observations and questions, but my point was a sciencey one. It is interesting, isn’t it?
  (Sorry, let me try that again as an actual question). Do you agree that it is interesting? (Much better). They think it may be a physical reaction to an abundance of a particular hormone/ chemical in the body and tears somehow help the body reduce those levels. So if that’s the case, then Monday night ABC is like my dealer and my body overdoses in epic proportions.

• Footy Classified – for me, this is kind of like the Four Corners of footy tv journalism (comparative to its footy show peers you must agree, yes?). Garry Lyon is not only very honest in his views, but also the most articulate person in AFL commentary/ journalism. I’ve even got a bit of a soft spot for Caro. Above all, it doesn’t dumb footy down like the other tv shows and as a result it’s more interesting and I like that it keeps you learning.

  Of course I’ll miss the actual footy too and thankfully Dunny Brush will be able to keep me informed of the Mighty Dees progress as the remainder of the season unfolds. Go Dees!

• Kate Langbroek – she really is the funniest woman on radio. Bloody hilarious and tells it how it is, which is a nice change. (PS. Is Brigitte Duclos a product of a banshee and a hyena cross breeding? Perhaps if they spay her she might calm down a little? And Jo Stanley will just have to wait for another time … ‘Brig’ has provoked enough bad talk for one edition)

• Modern Guru & the 2 of Us (Good Weekend) – I will miss the whole Good Weekend (a lift out in the Saturday Age for those not familiar) but these two are the highlight of my already favourite morning of the week. Add one large take away soy latte and I’m pretty bloody pleased with myself.

  Danny Katz: Modern Guru is my hero! If you’re not familiar (I’d suggest getting familiar), he provides advice to people on random moral and etiquette dilemmas. For example, a question recently was “we live next door to a family with the surname Proudfoot. When we refer to them collectively should they be the Proudfoots or the Proudfeet?” (Rhetorically) HOW funny is that?! Danny K is ridiculously clever and just about the funniest man that I can think of at this point in time.

  The 2 of Us is in the same genre as Australian Story – honest, seemingly simple stories of ‘everyday’ Australians. The two individuals profiled have a relationship of some description and just each share their own story and loving words about the other. Sometimes results in tears (mine), generally provokes a bit of discussion with fellow readers and always exposes a few teeth via a life affirming smile.

• Clem Bastow’s weekly reviews of new release singles in Inpress – I am slightly envious at her ability to show a solid knowledge of music dripping with some of the funniest descriptions and anecdotes you’re likely to read. Plus, a taste that’s not too ashamed to acknowledge a little love at any end of any spectrum of any genre, yet all the while remaining credibly discerning. She really is hilarious – get the rag on a Wednesday and check it out.

• My favourite Melbourne bars – the Carlton Club, Riverland, the Espy … and yes, even Revolver. To be one of my favourite bars you must meet a number of different criteria:
  - Carlton Draught on tap (any beer is acceptable, but the preference is STRONG)
  - not have a strict dress code (thongs are acceptable – even in winter)
  - be accessible by means other than car for the mobility restricted among us
  - a decent menu (a chicken parma on the menu earns extra points)
  - a ranking low on the pretentious wanker scale is absolutely essential

  The Orrong, Windsor Castle and the Corner rooftop all therefore qualify to be part of D-Rock’s favourite bars – and deservedly so (and seriously, if anyone was going to talk about themselves in the third person, it would be someone that calls themselves D-Rock …)

• 2010 with Richard Kingsmill – I mentioned this last week and feel that it deserves more words. Assuming that more than a few of you are here to be introduced to new music and it’s not just my engaging way with words that keeps you coming back for more, I really urrrrge you to listen to this on a Sunday night from 6pm- 9pm. Aside from being the oracle of all things music, he’s a totally pleasant individual! The other week he introduced me to Plan B. I bought the Cd. I love it! Despite the show being free of any monetary charge, the saying ‘just paid for its self’ still feels entirely appropriate.

• JB Hi Fi – what can I say? I just love it …

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s all about music, booze, optimistic living (some might argue the last two go hand in hand …) and all things entertainment.

I’m thankful that I can keep writing to you all to fill the void – that’s if I have time between drinking, meeting new people, being unemployed, travelling to new countries to totally immerse myself in new cultures.

You might say I’m a little excited …