onthebeatntrack

I’ve got some sad news for you today my fellow onthebeatntrackers. I did consider playing the overprotective parent and keeping this from your sensitive eyes until it was entirely necessary - that is, until we know exactly what the prognosis is. But I owe you more than that – besides,  overprotective parenting sounds like a level of concern and responsibility that I’m incapable of and, for the record, have no desire of achieving as I get footloose and unfancy free exploring Thailand.

It’s my equipment (no, not THAT equipment … not this time, anyway). More specifically, it’s my laptop. My little shining beacon of screen and letters has been diagnosed with some post-delivery complications. Before you panic, it DOES NOT appear terminal, however a transplant is required (if an unhappy face ever had a place in electronic messaging it is NOW! But I’ll refrain – I’ve put you through enough today already).

And of course in Northern Thailand’s Chiang Mai the waiting period for this particular vital organ is an AGONISING two weeks. I know I was shocked (loike OMG), with such a common blood type as HP-QWERTY I expected it to be a standard and relatively quick procedure and we’d be back sharing words over a beer in a bar in no time. I’m playing pushy parent (much faster results than overprotective) with the people at HP and plan to have my baby all better soon.

Such is my commitment to you(r attention) here I sit like Shakespeare back in his day at a desk with pen in hand and writer’s cramp increasing with ea c h  l e  t t e   r. But when you are existing in a place so chillaxcomotosed (the xc should make a ‘cks’ sound) as Chiang Mai is, it’s impossible to get even remotely any of Mary J Blige’s pain about anything – I doubt it would even be allowed across the border. Not even the HEAT, not Even with MY poor little already BMX-Banditing-Nicole-Kidman-skin - and now with added Vitamin D absorption thanks to the sun sensitivity increasing Malaria tablets. And we’re talking weather that’s been hoootttt, really really hoootttt, huuummiiiddd, sooo huummiidd that you kind of sympathise with a  steamed dim sim (before you dream of smothering its ass in tomato sauce and demolishing that white little nugget). In fact, I think I’m even noticing a nice little tan-ish glow developing (if only I could remember all of the Derwent colours, I could really help you imagine the seemingly unimaginable).

So, today Chiang Mai brought the rain – and so did I. As I watched (and smelt) the streets (and smells) dampen, I made some Rain on my iPod care of one Patty Griffin. And then I got all inspired for some weather forecasting of my own via a playlist. And where better to start than …

Rain – Patty Griffin

I am forever (or plan to be anyway) grateful for Mia Dyson for introducing me to this absolute gem while she guest programmed Rage – it was love. at. first. sight. and sound. It’s a little bit vulnerable – and not pathetically so – and just an entirely beautiful piece of acoustic country charm. The whole deep, deep, deep and then weep, weep, weep is just so perfect.

PS. You know another weep, weep, weep ing song that I love? Let It Fall by Lykke Li. It’s not weather related though, so it can’t technically make this playlist.

Umbrella - Rihanna with Jay-Z

Well, when the rain comes you gotta reach for the Umbrella. It is possible that my subconscious has led me to this particular topic (even via Patty Griffin) so that I could relevantly (?) write about this song. Epic, climatic and a more sincere sentiment than meets the ear. From Jay-Z’s clever intro “in anticipation for the precipitation …. Little Miss Sunshine, Rihanna where you at?” – consider that Little Miss title in the context of this song and I think we have ourselves an entendre of more than one! I also like that she’s used an umbrella (possibly a more feminine than masculine object, yes?) as a metaphor for the item that will protect her man when he’s weathering a storm.

I also do love it when artists reference an older song and Rihanna’s given a nice little cryptic note in So Hard (with Young Jeezy) from the actually amazing (guilty) Rated R. As she sings about being ‘so hard’ – i.e. tough – she sings in the third person “that Rihanna, rain just won’t let up ….” it sounds to me like someone needs an umbrella for themselves.

Sunshowers – MIA

I’d really be much happier if everyone was aware of how awesome MIA really is (if you’re up for the task, this week’s challenge is to get yourself a copy of her debut Arular). I’ve even danced to this song during a literal sun shower at a music festival – if that isn’t life imitating art … then it’s probably just a knowing DJ. Anyway, the track is awkward yet really just amazing. And, she salt and peppers her mangoes …

Hot In Herre – Nelly

Probably Nelly’s best moment (I do also really freak for Grillz though – check it out if you dare) and arguably the Neptunes’ too from when they were at the top of their r’n'b production game (check out their honour roll in this week’s closing argument). Just try not movin’ yo’ ass 2 dys slammin’ joint! My favourite line is “I got a friend with a pole in the basement. What? I’m just kiddin’ like Jason, ah…”

Kudos to Tiga for reinventing this as an uber cool monotone electro track – actually, not just uber cool, but just frickin awesome.

Snow – Emiliana Torrini

This album (Fisherman’s Woman) KILLS ME. I went along loving it in all its sweetness and light being all “oh, it’s so pretty and happy” .. but that was before. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still beautiful and now even more so but I soon learned the subject wasn’t as ‘light’ as the sound. Both this song and the otherworldly Sunny Road are semi love letters posthumously being sent to her fiance who sadly died in a road accident. Whilst I don’t need to say anymore, I will leave you with a line that may have been heard as far as my heart once or perhaps fifty four times:

 ”… and I hope again to live this life, just to see you once more before I die”. Please understand that the words on the screen pale in comparison to the sound from the speakers. This song is 2 minutes of absolute freakin beauty.

Cool – Gwen Stefani

While we’re at the lower end of the temperature guage we might just stay here for another minute (a welcome relief, let me tell you). Love. Angel. Music. Baby. was – and really, still is – awesome in all its diversity. A diversity that is due largely to just about each track being produced by a different (and it should be noted, very high profile) producer; from Lindy Perry’s ‘What You Waiting For?’ to Dr. Dre’s ‘Rich Girl’. Of all of the above average tracks the ones that seem to have stood the test of time (in this humble person’s not-so-humble opinion) are the less inyaface ones. For example, The Real Thing is still as smile and tingle inducing a love song as it was years ago and then there’s this song, Cool.

It’s about a former couple who have now both moved and while “it’s a miracle” they are still good friends - this could refer to her relationship with Tony Kanaal, who was not only in No Doubt with Gwen, but also Gwen’s former long term ‘other half’ (you might remember him from such music video’s as Pink ‘Funhouse’ – he’s the dark dude playing the piano). Kanaal even worked on a couple of tracks on L.A.M.B.

Cool is a co-write with Dallas Austen who has done more than a few cool things over the years – not the least of which is Push the Button with the Sugababes and No Scrubs with TLC. You see, Cool!

Lucifer – Jay-Z

Someone must be sparking up these flames from the sky and every now and again I do fear it may be the work of the devil. Just on paper (for me) this is majik (sorry for the misspelling, just had a sudden urge to reference Def FX). Produced by Kanye, it involves two of the most consistently genius men of my musical time – and being my musical time I’ll be the one that makes the rules. I do truly believe that there’s a piece of Hip Hop somewhere that everyone can sink their teeth into and, more importantly, enjoy the taste. I’m putting quite a few of my guessing eggs in this wicked basket … just pretend their poached and covered in hollandaise and just have a bloody taste would you?!

No Air – Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown

What? A barometer records air (doesn’t it?) and air is weather related… isn’t it? This song is like the lady (and lady bashing man child) in waiting to Leona Lewis’ ALL ruling Bleeding Love. And while we’re talking about it, isn’t Bleeding Love the coolest metaphor since … well, Rihanna’s Umbrella? Justin Timberlake’s LoveStoned is a worthy contender too - although that might not even be a metaphor? A damn cool concept nonetheless.

The charm of No Air is that it doesn’t overdo it - not once. There’s some vocal gymnastics, granted, but it’s never overbearing and remains smooth and gentle for its entire duration which is just one of the reasons that it is still as effective after listen #8,312 (figures provided by the bureau of exaggerated-for-effect statistics). The other reason is likely thanks to a difficult to forget Tabitha & Napoleon choreographed routine on the US So You Think You Can Dance. At the Editor’s request, we’ll have a SPECIAL Editor’s Request Edition in the coming week’s where I’ll present (or admit) my favourite SYTYCD routines. Stay tuned …

Hot’n'Fun – N.E.R.D. featuring Nelly Furtado

The first time I heard this song I immediately (pulled over to the side of the road and) sent a text to brother G-Pebble that went ’QUICK, turn on Nova and Shazaam this song and tell me what it is. Sounds like N.E.R.D. LOVE IT!’ My need for an iPhone less critical assuming everyone else I know continues to enjoy their luxury items. So he text me back a couple of minutes and one song later and said ‘It’s Hot’n'Fun by NERD and Nelly Furtado” Ok, so he also said ”I bet you’re also belting out this Evanescence song that’s on right now, aren’t you?” … and, of course, I was but that’s not the point. What is the point? Oh yeah, this song is very cool and not only includes Nelly Furtado, but Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo who not only make up 2/3 of N.E.R.D. but the 100% of the Neptunes which leads me to …

The Neptunes’ Honour Roll ….

• Milkshake – Kelis
• Slave 4 U – Britney (and Boys)
• Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani
• Rock Your Body – Justin Timberlake (and the superior Like I Love You – and let’s not forget Signorita … that last ones for you KittyCat)
• Got Your Money – ODB w Kelis
• Drop It Like It’s Hot – Snoop w Pharrell
• Hella Good – No Doubt
• Work It Out – Beyonce
• Beautiful – Snoop

And let’s not forget the best one of all – Frontin’ by Pharrell himself. There’s stacks more, but you’re probably drowning in words right and I don’t want you feeling all Jordin Sparks (no one probably cares if Chris Brown is without air nowadays), so will give you some breathing space.

Speak to you from somewhere else ‘warm’ next time. Maybe Laos? Either way, I expect things to get a little ‘Dirrrty’ from here on in …

One last thing … due to a family illness I was unable to include links to the chosen songs this week. Please, in lieu of flowers and gifts the ‘family’ would appreciate you donating your time and finding your own way to the songs chosen. We appreciate your support in this ‘difficult’ time.