onthebeatntrack

He’s ba-ack!

So, apparently I DO still have the ‘time’ to indulge you all with my mostly low brow/ always amateur trackbeat’n (oh how generous, He o’ the zero hour working week). And yes – go on, nod away – it’s also likely that I still have a slightly narcissistic yearning for your collective attention. After six months of sweet unemployment it has become very clear to me that work colleagues actually double as an audience – a view that will not come as a surprise to my former colleagues on Sunset Strip who were not always voluntarily in attendance at my 9 to 5 show. I provided encores nonetheless.

But can you actually believe it’s been a WHOLE FOUR months since the last time I gave you all the keyboard-tapping finger?! You probably want some answers about my whereabouts so in the interest of building trust, and in the tradition of making up excuses for absenteeism, I think it’s best you understand the cause of our unplanned separation. And of course, I’m not so proud that I won’t accept your pity.

Sure, there have been inter-country travels, TV shows in DVD form (True Blood and Mad Men, please take a bow), highly addictive novels (that’s you Millennium Trilogy) and, of course, long boozy encounters that have all competed (quite successfully) for my attentions, BUT the biggest culprit has been a maiden bout of writer’s block. I really wish it was something a little more sympathy and opiate-prescription inducing but it is what it is and it has not been fun. Confidence bruising? Yes. Fun? No. Although, it was the last minutia of responsibility that I carried so perhaps indirectly it has b … but NOW look at MY responsibility in getting this show back on the road. Hard yards ahead people, hard bloody yards.

Let me paint a picture of the poor man for you.

Ok, so you know that person in the office, the one who you see every day but you didn’t introduce yourself to for the first month. Then it just felt too awkward to suddenly introduce yourself at any stage beyond that, so you just never bother. You just get through the next two years of sharing lifts and kitchenettes by exchanging a wry, shameful but all-knowing smile with them that says “this is weird I know, but I’m sorry there’s no turning back now”. It feels to me like you’re that person – multiplied by about 100.

And, you know that friend you haven’t spoken to for aaaaages, like six months or even a year, and when you finally speak you should have soooo much to say. Then it turns out so much has actually happened that you don’t know where to begin, so it actually turns out you’ve got nothing to say and that literally becomes the conversation “yeah, um, I don’t really know what else, you know the usual”. You’re that long distant friend. That is what THIS feels like.

BUT fear NOT! For today, to get you up to SPEED and up to DATE with the last four months we’re going to do a little Speed Dating, onthebeatntrack style.

Maybe you’re here because you’re looking for an introduction to some new musical love. Maybe you’re here because you are simply hoping for some love from someone in particular (maybe it starts with D and ends in Rock – I feel that baby) or maybe you’re just looking for some ‘fun’ (we shall judge you not). Whatever it is, we’re going to do our best to show y’all a good time and hopefully even pair a few of you off.

So, what da dilly-yo? Now what da drilly-yo? Get UR Freaks On indeed people because below, for your perusing pleasure, you can find ten potential suitors of the musical variety each summarised to a speed dating appropriate (and slightly shallow) 100 word description, which has been kindly provided by an easily excitable but still technically independent party (i.e. moi). The beauty of THIS speed dating is that you can pick as many as you want – just think, if you were on the Bachelor you’d have unlimited roses! Just how life should be – roses for everyone.

Alright, I think we’re ready to get this party started. Good luck! And, now introducing …

Suitor #1: Splendour in the Grass
Best. Music. Festival. Ever? Words that were deservedly bandied around more than once or twice! The three day set list was one of the best I’ve ever experienced thanks to Florence (can sing), Miike Snow (see suitor #10), LCD Soundsystem (THE. BEST.), the Strokes (epitomising cool), Scissor Sisters (100 % pure fun), plus pleasing turns from Passion Pit and Mumford & Sons. All this played out amongst Woodford’s dream logistics, set up and lush surroundings, with glorious weather, razor sharp organisation and facilities and, of course, all enjoyed with BFFs and heaps of contraband supplies. I’m a little nostalgic just thinking about it.

For a second date: check out LCD Soundsystem do I Can Change (live). You can do that here.
To seal the deal: get to Splendour next year while it’s still at Woodford!

Suitor #2: Janelle Monae – the Archandroid
Want some dating advice? Ok then – if you go to second base with only one of today’s potential suitors MAKE IT JANELLE MONAE. I’m disappointing myself only giving this 100 words, considering to date it is my equal favourite CD of 2010, so I’ve decided she’s earned 150. How to describe something so grand, so unique, so rich. The sound is a bit old soul, a bit nu funk – it’s old and new, fast and slow, cheeky and tender. It’s a bit of everything and yet quite like nothing ever heard before. Initially, this unfamiliarity might make it a little challenging – but it’s also what will make it ultimately entirely rewarding. You’ll be impressed by the quirky (sometimes playfully) clever wordplay (e.g. ‘Locked Inside’, ‘Tightrope’) and fall in love with the vintage feel of the romantic balladry (‘Oh, Maker’, ‘Sir Greendown’). The music is often grand and always theatrical – yet never, ever overbearing. Not sold? Two words – the XX: I was right then. I am right now.

BUY THE ALBUM. DO IT. Check out the video for Tightrope for some foreplay …

PS. I’m going to witness her brilliance in person – twice – in early December, so more to come.

Suitor #3: Thank you for your love – Antony & the Johnsons
Thank you for your show (Later … with) Jools Holland which was my introduction to this one. I’m a sucker for a piano – and even more so when it‘s accompanied by a voice as angelic as Antony’s. The recorded version has a soaring instrumental crescendo which fits with the unrestrained emotion in the lyrics – the sentiment is simple but universal. Tender, understated songs about love certainly earn their place in this world, but it’s nice to hear someone just cut loose with an epic love-in (Alicia Keys’ No One perhaps the best example of this).

Here’s a link to the acoustic version from Jools Holland – it’s just Antony and his piano. It’s damn near perfect.
Here is a link to the original recorded version – it’s GRAND! Just listen to him go towards the end.

Suitor #4: Sziget, Hungary as My Career & Nova FM’s Chief Entertainment Officer
You might’ve seen the round up from Summer Sonic in Japan (if not, click here). Unfortunately due to circumstances entirely unknown to me the next review of Budapest’s Sziget festival wasn’t put up on Nova’s site. But, I can put it up on here if there are sufficient expressions of interest for a second date. In short, the tone of our week in Hungary was set the moment we checked into Grandio Party Hostel (actual name, actual nature), where we traded five years off our life span for six days of crazy party fun. Fair trade? Totesolutely.

More information can be provided on this suitor upon request – just leave a comment at the bottom.
To consummate (quite literally): go to Budapest and check into Grandio Party Hostel. Good times.

Suitor #5: Spotify
You know how I feel about illegal downloading. And I know how YOU feel about it too – yeah, I’m onto you tight biatches. But, there is a way we can BOTH get what we want. Listen in. Spotify is an on-line music library (i.e. public iTunes) where you have access to HEEEEAPS of music and can make playlists – even share them with others! I see this in our future. Best of all – it’s FREE! There is one harmless advert every three songs which pays for the royalties for the artists. See, everyone’s happy! HUGzzzzz.

And, I’ve just been informed that Spotify is not available in Australia. Bummer.

Interested in suitor #5? You can click on this link (Suitors: Best of) which showcases our ten suitors today and is the perfect opportunity for a second date. There are a few public playlists I’ve created which you can access (onthebeatntrack is my profile) and happy to make individual playlists on requests (eventual employment permitting).

Suitor #6: Fever Ray – live in Glasgow

Fever Ray (along with Friendly Fires) was 50% of the double act that kicked off onthebeatntrack (remember Introducing?). Well, my love for her and that most amazing self titled debut album was realised at a phenomenal live show in Glasgow. It was an absolute feast for ALL of the senses and an experience that we shall not forget in a hurry. As expected, this was no conventional show – Karin didn’t speak one word the entire show – not a single one. They just played. It was magic. Double rainbow indeed, Beck.

For a second/ third date/ to consummate: Check out Seven, followed by When I Grow Up. Then buy the album. That’s a holy trinity right there –  go for gold.

Suitor #7: I Crave You – Flight Facilities

It’s a little bit old now but still very, very dear. This is the debut original release by Sydney duo Flight Facilities and features the daydreamy monotone vocals of Melbourne singer Giselle – the vacant vulnerability in her voice is the track’s beauty and the instant familiarity its strength.

I love watching people’s faces when they first hear this song – it is all enveloping, and impossible not to fall in love with. LOVE-ly stuff.

Suitor #8: Big Boi – Sir Lucious Leftfoot … the Son of Chico Dusty.
A recent addition to my list of favourite hip-hop albums. Not as diverse as the Black Album, not as mainstreaming as the College Dropout nor is it ‘responsible’ (at all!) like, say Food & Liquor BUT for sheer genius dressed as pure joy I’m givin it up to Daddy Fat Sax. He can get his mouth around a rhyme to poised PERFECTION. It was T.I. that said “… Weezy for the wordplay, Jeezy for the birdplay, Kan-yeezy for diversity and me for controversy” – well, he might not have the controversy of T.I. and his 2008 incarceration, but Big Boi’s got the other three covered like he’s glad rap (ah, lolz). This is some motherfun-ky shiz.

Thinking about a second date? Just be aware that he’s a good time dude. While he’s “the the kinda dude who takes your babymama out for food”, he’s also …. well, I’ll let you explore the next line or two to find out. Check out Shutterbug, Tangerine and Fo’ Yo’ Sorrows.

Oh, and Weezy = Lil Wayne, Jeezy = Jay Z, Kan-Yeezy = Kanye. Word.

Suitor #9: Heartbeat – Enrique Iglesias and Nicole Pussycat Doll
This could have been a disaster! No, it SHOULD have been a disaster. So how then did this become the best r’n’ballad duet since No Air? Who cares, it’s sincere in its shallow beauty and like some of the very best pop songs – instantly catchy but all the while understated. Nice work team.

The video is a rather stunning affair too – although you may want more than a second date after watching, if you know what I mean. Total hotness x 2. See for yourself here.

Suitor #10: Pukkelpop, Belgium as My Career & Nova FM’s Chief Entertainment Officer

At Pukkelpop my ‘assistant’ and I were sent a clear message from our new tent – we should absolutely NOT enter the Amazing Race. EVER. We had our suspicions anyway. What followed was three days of consistently good tunes and damn good times. Highlights: Miike Snow on an intimate stage (nipples = very erect), Marina & the Diamonds (surprisingly terrific, very talented), Yeasayer (woop yeah! PS. hello, babefest!) and the XX (yes, again). BUT the gold medal goes to … 2 Many DJ’s for the most incredible closing set. Cliche? Probably. Fun like never before? Definitely. 2 Many DJ’s? Nah, just the right amount.

Want more of a taste of Suitor #10? Try If I Ever Feel Better – Phoenix. Sweet Belgian memories.

Now if you need ANY more dating advice or want more information about any of the fine specimens on show today you don’t be shy ok, you just let me know. And don’t be greedy – there’s plenty here to go around so share with your friends who might need a push in the right direction.

It’s good be back, thanks for stopping by.